Fifty Shades of Grey- BDSM

A judge in Brazil ordered bookstores to wrap the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and keep them out of kids reach or take them off of the shelves. This order came after Judge Raphael Quieroz Campos witnessed children looking through the books at a local bookstore. The trilogy set is famous for its sexual and fetish themed content. I actually agree with this ruling. If it is an inappropriate book for children then this is a good idea. Of course, kids can always find a way around it if they really want to. I wasn’t a bad kid or anything but we sure were sneaky lol.

The article I read about this wasn’t clear on if they were doing the same for other books with similar content but I believe they were. In other news regarding the trilogy the book set has been under scrutiny and attack as being one that advocates domestic abuse. Reportedly this could be further from the truth (the contents are fetish and related to BDSM) and depicts only consensual situations.

On one hand I can see where a bdsm relationship or one that involves a female as the slave or submissive could be seen as anti-female or abusive or controlling. But on the otherhand not all bdsm relationships involve a female as the submissive half. Many men in these relationships are submissives and I think when we analyze things that could be anti-feminist, controlling or abusive some people or groups fail to remember men can be victims too. Not to say that those in bdsm relationships are victims. That isn’t to say that there are those that can be out of control and fall under those categories. I have personally witnessed this and knew a female friend who did not consent and was abused in this type of relationship.

Over the past two years I’ve been on the fence with this one. One of my favorite movies is the Secretary and I’m a feminist so how does that work? lol. Can you be female friendly and accept bdsm? It works because it’s consensual and it’s not supposed to be harmful. I’ve learned over the course of this time of many bdsm relationships and got the gist of how they work.

The control that exists in these relationships is actually GIVEN. It’s given by consent and trusting the other partner. There are boundaries instilled and it exercises each other’s trust and sexual experiences. It isn’t necessarily about punishment and pain or degradation. It’s about exploration, sensations, and mutual satisfaction. It doesn’t promote mysogynistic principles. Partners can be man & man, woman & woman, or man & woman. There isn’t anything that says who must play which role.

Well, that’s what I’ve gathered about the dom/sub side. I think the master/slave might be a bit different. If anyone currently or previously in a D/s relationship agrees or disagrees with my basic understanding let me know.

I plan on reading the series as I haven’t gotten to it. I’ve heard it was smut, porn, and poorly written. I’ve also heard it was sexy, liberating, and erotic. I’d like to make my own opinion. I’m all for sexual exploration and being free to do what you like in your own bedroom. Feel free to leave a comment!